


in the palm of your hand

by scepticallyopenminded



Series: 30 Day Lyrics Challenge - 2017 [23]
Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Future Fic, Kid Fic, Marriage, hazards of the job
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 09:40:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13121079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scepticallyopenminded/pseuds/scepticallyopenminded
Summary: He’s sitting on the edge of a hospital bed, Amy laying and watching him and he’s holding his daughter, and he knows, now more than ever, that he has to be okay, that he has to come home every day to these two. That he has to do things as by the book as he can, because it’s the only way to guarantee he’s being as careful as he can be.





	in the palm of your hand

**Author's Note:**

> from Vienna Teng's Say Uncle:
> 
> "You kept fear of death in the back pocket of your jeans/In the palm of your hand, affection"
> 
> I told y'all I was gonna eventually get a Jamy written and this apparently was the day. It's a little splintered but have a good future fic and yeah, they have a kid in this and god this is the future I wish upon my babies. ALL THE HAPPINESS TOGETHER.

Jake has never really been afraid of dying on the job. 

He knows he deals with criminals - real criminals, people who will happily shoot him in the head if he gives them a chance. But he’s never really  _ thought  _ about it. The fact that he could be out doing his job one day and the next be in a casket.

There was that one point, when Terry told him he had to take better care of himself and let himself off the hook every once in a while, especially when he’s hurt. And he’s been better since then; taking days off here and there. But nothing changed so much in his  _ mindset _ ; serious injury and death aren’t something he recognizes as a real possibility.

That changes, somewhat, with Amy. 

Suddenly, catching bad guys isn’t the most important thing in his life.  _ She  _ is.

And things  _ change _ . He has to stay alive, he has to take care of himself, because he has to be there for her. He does things he never thought he would: eats better, even eats vegetables and fruits sometimes, goes for runs with her sometimes, usually gets up before noon even on his days off now. And he’s more prone to taking time off, spending it with her.

It really takes off after the whole Figgis debacle, when Amy confesses that it was hard living without him for six months and they decide to move in together. It’s getting  _ real _ , serious. It’s the first time Jake’s ever thought about moving in with a significant other; besides Sophia, it’s the only  _ serious  _ relationship he’s had in  _ years _ .

Sometimes, it scares him. Most of the time, it makes him want to be  _ better _ . To make sure that she doesn’t have to live another six months, or longer, without him because he did something  _ stupid _ , like went after a drug ring without backup. It makes him want to make sure she’s  _ happy _ , always always happy. He wants to be better, be safer, be healthier. 

He moves into  _ her  _ apartment because it’ll make her happier. He was living in Gina’s studio, anyway, not really enough space for them both if he thinks about it. Her apartment is in a safer neighborhood, anyway, and closer to the precinct, and there was no reason for him to fight it as hard as he had except that he was scared. But thinking about it, thinking about  _ Amy _ and what he had to do to make her happy, keep her safe, keep  _ him  _ around to make sure she stayed that way, it was a much easier decision.

Amy makes him want to be  _ good _ . He’ll stop doing field work when he’s injured, even if it’s something small like a barely sprained ankle, because he needs to be at his best if he’s going to be out there to make sure he comes back home to  _ her _ . She’ll make salad for dinner and he’ll  _ eat it _ . Death still seems like this thing way off in the future, away from him, like he’ll never have to deal with it, not really, but he’s going to  _ make sure  _ he’s okay, for her. 

Things get even more serious when they get engaged. This is it; the first and, if things go well, only time he’s asked someone to marry him. He loves Amy, he wants to do anything he can in his power to make sure everything in her life is  _ perfect _ . If that means taking it easy, staying healthy, and being there, so be it. The same, when they get married.

Still, it hasn’t registered, exactly, how dangerous his job is and can be until  _ now _ .

Now, when he’s holding their daughter in his arms for the first time. She’s absolutely  _ tiny _ , seven pounds four ounces, healthy and beautiful but precious. She’s got her mom’s score of dark hair, a fat little nose, dark black eyes.

He  _ gets _ , for real, for the first time, exactly what Terry felt all those years ago when Cagney and Lacey were born. The realization that life is bigger than yourself and your own pursuits. 

He’s sitting on the edge of a hospital bed, Amy laying and watching him and he’s holding his  _ daughter _ , and he knows, now more than ever, that he has to be  _ okay _ , that he has to come home every day to these two. That he has to do things as by the book as he can, because it’s the only way to guarantee he’s being as careful as he can be.

It was only a few years ago that everything he did was for himself, because that’s all he  _ had _ . When the most important pursuit in life was his job, was putting away bad guys and getting as many arrests as possible, when his entire life was made of that. He  _ gets  _ what Boyle was talking about when he and Gen adopted Nikolaj because  _ this _ , this is the most important thing. Super late nights, staying on the case until it’s solved - it isn’t worth anything if he isn’t coming home to his wife and his daughter.

Jake’s never really thought about dying on the job, but he’s certainly going to make sure it doesn’t happen. Not if he can help it.  

**Author's Note:**

> lemme know if I missed any tags I am the literal WORST at tagging.
> 
> find me at [asocialfoxpaw](http://asocialfoxpaw.tumblr.com)
> 
> don't post my stuff on goodreads or like sites thanks!


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